Thursday, May 31, 2012

Call me Miss Constance

I've been asking God for an English name for a period of time. I did thought of naming myself, but no matter which name I choose it just didn't feel right until that day.

During the worship session, we sang "You are for me". Is not the first time I heard or sing this song, but that time was definitely the first time the word "constant" touch my heart.

So faithful. So constant. 
So loving and so true.
So powerful in all You do.

You fill me. You see me. 
You know my every move 
You love for me to sing to You.

I know that You are for me. 
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never
forsake me in my weaknessesI know that You have come now
even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who You are.

So patient, So gracious, 
So merciful and true
So wonderful in all You do. 

I just felt that God wants to remind and keep reminding me that His Love towards me it constant and unchanging. And He also wants me to Love Him constantly and unchanging. Not fluctuating now and then but keep loving Him forever and ever.

I asked my "mama" after that, she told me "Constant" is for boy so is better to use the name "Constance" which have the same meaning.

So that's how I name myself Constance, believing it is an answer from God.

I'm still not used to it yet. But I'm trying to be! 

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Destiny In Heaven

“If only 1 out of 6000 babies get this syndrome and that 1 baby happened to be ours, then I'm very sure God has a purpose and we just have to trust Him.

Baby D's mama shared this in Destiny's memorial service. Her faith in God blows my mind away. Until now, I never see someone to be this optimistic and look at her situation in a totally different way. BBD's family is the most amazing family I've ever seen. We went to the memorial to show our support, to give them love and comfort, but at the end they are the one who told us "is ok". They truly believe that God has planned this out for a reason. They mourn for Destiny's departure, but at the same time they rejoice that Destiny no longer suffer on earth, but rest well in Abba Father's hands. Their faith is just too amazing and overwhelmed for me to understand. 

In baby Destiny's memorial, tears kept rolling down from my eyes. Looking at her sparkling eyes shining with peace, it really makes my heart hurts even more. She's a beautiful baby, she is our little warrior princess.

They played this short video of Destiny's life. I will never forget how she fights for every breath of her life. To get a gaps of air, Destiny have to breaths in very very hard. She would have to give her very best, using all her strength to breaths in so that she could survive. Destiny makes me realise that I’ve been taking advantage on this privilege that I had, to be able to breaths easily is also a blessing from God.

Destiny taught me to appreciate my life more. Years ago I knew that my parents didn't plan to have a third child a.k.a. me. They didn't tell me directly, I just overheard it from a conversation of my dad with his friend. I never knew what made them decide to keep me, but this had been a thorn in my heart. Every time I felt disappointed about my parents, I will secretly ask why have they give birth to me. And every time I think I disappointed them, I will think whether they regret keeping me. I always felt the need to know the reason, but Destiny proves me wrong. From Destiny’s life, I've learn to appreciate my life more. No matter what made my parents kept me, is not important anymore. I'm born, I'm healthy, and I can breaths smoothly. I shouldn’t care why they decided to gave birth to me, the most important thing is I’m here, I’m healthy and I have a loving family. I need to appreciate this life that I have.

For those who knows, my back problem had been bugging me for more than 2 years already. And whenever I feel very painful, I ask God why, sometimes I even blame God why I'm not cured. But seeing Destiny fight for every breath, my back pain is nothing. Is nothing at all. I should embrace this pain and look at those blessings that I had in my life. I can live through this pain if it never get cure. I can fight, as BBD fight for her life. My pain compared to Destiny's struggle is nothing at all. Destiny taught me not to care about these petty things, as long as you live, fight for your life, your destiny.
Very often in life I tend to look at the things that I do not have and concentrate on the pain in my life. But this is life. Life is not without any ups and downs. But those ups and downs are just temporary and I have more and more to give thanks and appreciate of. I’ve been living in a comfortable environment and had been taking things for granted. Not knowing how to appreciate every single thing in life and keep complaining is just not right. Is time to change! Because now I know, as long as I live, is enough for me to give thanks for and is enough for a reason for me to think positively. Just have faith in God that everything happen for a reason and all I need to do is depend on Him and believe in Him.

When I saw Destiny in her coffin, she's so tiny and adorable. Our little princess warrior did more than I've done for past 22 years. She sleep soundly now in the arms of our heavenly father. Until we meet again Baby Destiny, I will always remember you.

A hand sign of Destiny:

Destiny Zoe Oh's Facebook:

Please read the eulogy. Is very meaningful and life changing!

Someone wrote a poem for Destiny as below:

*All photos are taken from Baby Destiny's Facebook page.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Please don't pee in the lift

Few weeks ago we went to our team member's house for our mock CG practice a.k.a. mock mock CG and I saw something interesting.

This lift is not your toilet?!  I didn't know that there is people who pee in the lift. And when I saw the "Armed with urine detection device (UDD)" sign, a lot of questions pop up in my mind.

Apparently, this is not uncommon here. That's what I heard from my friend. They say it was a very serious problem last time until awareness was created. 

Anyway, my only unanswered question is this, how does this UDD work? Does it detect liquid? or liquid with heat? What will happen if someone accidentally spill hot tea in the lift? Will it beep none stop? Or will the lift stop working? I'm really curious bout this! Anyone know?

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Sacrifice of praise

Until now, I'm still overwhelmed from what had happen since Tuesday. My leaders little precious angel is still in the hospital, fighting for her life. Such a brave girl, such a fighter. Only a few days old, and she's already fighting for her life, not giving up.

Before she was born, she already brought all of us so much joy. Not only to her parents but to all of us. We were all excited about her even before she was born. Everyone was so happy when they found out she was conceived in her mother's womb. We were all touching her mom's belly hoping to feel a kick from her. I never once be so excited about something until I check my tweets every 5 mins, just to make sure I do not miss any latest update of her. She brought us a lot of joy indeed.

Now seeing her in tubes, my heart break. Although I can only see her photos, I've already fell in love with her. Such a beautiful baby, with such beautiful eyes. Her eyes make my heart melt.

I cannot understand why these things happen to her. In terms of natural or the supernatural. But I believe in God's infinite wisdom that whatever that is going on right now is for a purpose. He have everything in control. He IS in control.

Today, I really experience the sacrifice of praise. Seeing my leaders keeping their faith strong in God really encourage me. They set their faith in God, and embrace the will of God. For the whole day I feel so burden in my heart. Can't really do anything, I wasn't acting like myself. But in all that had happen, I learn to give praise to God. Keep thanking Him for His wonder. Keep believing that He has the perfect plan for her.

My God is a Healer! My God is a Miracle Maker. I believe our little angel will experience a miraculous!

Destiny, Aunty Shu Qing Love you very very much!!!!!! Be strong keep fighting! I want to give you a big big hug when I come back! And buy you an Eeyore!!!

To everyone who is reading this, please pray together with me. She needs a miracle touch from God. Let's us all believe that our God will heal her and day by day she will be stronger and stronger! Keep her family in prayers too! Pray that God's grace is upon them and will bring them trough this period of time. And pray that God will provide them with all that they need financially. Amen!

You can read more information here:

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

random sketches

I’ve been playing with this "paper" app ever since I got it from my Singapore CG member. I call him sifu now because of this app. He was shocked that I enjoyed it this much. He took my iPad from me and looks through my sketches one by one and commented on them. ><

Well, he is a real pro in drawing so he can comment all he wants.

He can draw very well right? He say this is the professional way of drawing shit. 

Anyway, here are some of my sketches. Enjoy! 

God, hear my cry.

Squarish hairstyle

I enjoy music. Let's dance.

Squarish rabbit?

Sunday, May 13, 2012

A broken heart

I don’t know about you. But deep inside my heart I feel that every heart in this world is broken.

Some are broken by disappointment, some are broken by betrayal, some are broken because the lost of someone close and some are broken because of a painful past.

No matter what it is, there is something in our heart that we rather not say nor mention. If possible, we would like to erase it from our history. But we don’t have any time machine, and life goes on. Hearts are broken and time passed on. We all think that time is the only cure for heartache. But no matter how long it had past, a hurt is still a hurt until it is fully recover.

No one in this world is perfect. When someone disappoints us, we tend to go and find someone else to fill the emptiness in our heart. But slowly it became like a routine, there is always this someone that will hurt us followed by another, a non-ending routine.

God says “Give me your broken heart, and I will heal it”. No one in this world is perfect. No one’s love could ever fill the emptiness in our heart. We will still be disappointed by other people, because no one is perfect. But God is, God’s Love is perfect. He loves us no matter what we had done in the past. No matter how broken we are, no matter how wicked we are, God still LOVE us.

There is nothing we can do to make Him Love us more, there is nothing we can do that will make Him Love us less.

God’s love is not gained by hard work. God just love us.

Give your heart to Jesus, and let Him heal it and let Him love you.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

My Miracle

I know this is a bit late to post it here. But is better than never right?

I experienced a miraculous healing last Friday. When Pastor Ming asked if anyone had unequal length of hands or leg, I quickly raised up my hand because I knew since last year that both of my legs are unequally long. We were asked to gather in our teams and pray for those in need of this miracle. So my team members and I gathered together and I took off my shoes to show them the difference of my legs. They were amazed to see that my leg was unequally long. They say the difference was an inch long. I’m not sure, but I know my right leg’s ankle is literally on top of my left leg’s ankle.

So we started to pray in the spirit and they start laying their hands on my leg. After praying for some time, I could hear other teams cheering for joy and praising God for the miracle that happened. But till then, nothing happen to me. I wasn’t sure how I felt that time, my friend asked me not to pray in the spirit but just receive the healing. One of them also came to me and recites a verse to me, she asked me not to be discouraged and trust in the Lord for this healing.

When they start praying again, I did not pray in the spirit anymore but receive the healing. I kept saying in my heart that I believe in God and I believe God will believe. But after some time nothing happen, and I felt that God telling me that the reason I kept saying I believe is because I do not believe and I’m trying to persuade myself to believe. Once this thought hit me, I start confessing to God and asked God to help my unbelief. And that was when the miracle started to happen.

I start feeling power flowing through a touch. I thought it was the touch of God, so I opened my eyes and look, it was my friend’s hand. I could feel power releasing through her hands. Then I felt my jeans moving. But it didn’t! What I felt was actually the stretch of my leg.

And praise the Lord, when we compare my legs again, it was totally the same length! Not longer and not shorter! Is totally the same length! Praise the Lord.

It was an amazing experience for all of us. My friend saw with her on eyes that my leg was stretched 3 times! 3 times! And the girl who I felt power flowing from her also felt that power were releasing through her. She said she was praying and she felt her hands so hot, and she knows that she needs to lay her hand on me. Another one felt the stretch of my leg too. She thought someone was pulling my leg, but no one was pulling. It was God!

I really thank God for this miraculous healing. It couldn’t happen without my team member’s support and prayers. And it definitely would not happen without God’s grace. Feel so blessed! Thank You, Abba!

Friday, May 4, 2012

The Mighty Cross

Thank You for the cross, the mighty cross,
That God Himself should die for such as us,
And everyday we're changed
Into Your image more and more,
Yes, by the cross we've truly been transformed.

And we're so amazed, and we give You praise
That You would save us at such a cost.
We're so amazed, and we give You praise
For the power of the cross,
For the power of the cross.

I can't get the lyrics out of my mind after we sang it in SOT the other day and I got the inspiration to sketch the cross. The Mighty Cross.

I din't know about this until I came to SOT. All these while I thought trough the cross only our sins are forgiven and we have eternal life. But through the cross Jesus did more than what I thought. His sacrifice gave us everything.

Through the cross, He took away my SINS and gave me FORGIVENESS.
Through the cross, He took away my REJECTION and gave me ACCEPTANCE
Through the cross, He took away my SICKNESS and gave me HEALING
Through the cross, He took away my CURSE and gave me BLESSINGS
Through the cross, He took away my POVERTY and gave me PROSPERITY
Through the cross, He took away DEATH and gave me ETERNAL LIFE
Through the cross, He took away my REBELLIOUS NATURE and gave me a NEW MAN

Whenever I think about the cross, I think about what Jesus had been through for us and tears couldn't stop rolling down from my eyes. Thank You Jesus for the CROSS.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

My world was in yellow

Since young I always struggle with that period of the month (for girls only)!. Every time I suffer pain caused by "that", I will ask God why He created me as a girl and not boy. XD

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate being a girl, I just really really dislike the pain, other than that I'm OK with it. But again, who will like the pain right?

I experienced my worst last week. I was so weak that I begin to have headache other than stomach pain. My head begin to be dizzy, I can't walk straight and I started to vomit. I hit my worst when my world began to be yellow in colour!!! I couldn't stand, I think if I stood any longer I will black out. And the worst thing is, I'm not at home!!!!! I was like an hour plus journey from hostel.

I kind of pass out in the toilet for more than an hour before I felt better. Thank God I get better in time! If not I really don't know what to do. I did not have anything with me, not even my phone or my wallet. My beg was with my friend. XD

I think I really need to cut off my cold drinks and ice-cream. I don't want this happen again. My body is too weak to handle it... So envy of my friends that can drink cold water and even eat ice-cream during that period of time. And she don't feel any pain!!!! Why??!!!

Coincidently, my country was yellow that day, so do my world. ><