Monday, December 12, 2011

My new HEART

When you think God is telling you something, think again, because it might mean something else.

During Pastor Kevin’s “Pink Heels and Blue Jeans” Part 1 sermon, I responded to the word and I went down, stood in front of the stage and was prayed by Pastor Kevin. I don’t really remember what exactly he told me but I remember it is something like this “You are here not by accident. You are here in this church for a reason. God know that you’ve been hurt and disappointed, He was there and He know how it feels. God is now giving you a new heart, so that you can LOVE again and share your c with others.”

At that point of time, I thought that this “new heart” that God is giving me is to be able to love and trust others again. (Believe me, I have a huge trust issue) But it wasn’t that! During CG meeting last Thursday, when my CG members were sharing their testimony, something hit my mind. It was like a voice telling me that “the new heart that God is giving to you is to LOVE and TRUST in him!”

I constantly feel disappointed and hurt by people; therefore I dare not easily put my trust in people. I dare not LOVE without constraint myself; I dare not trust other people. I’ve put my perspective on men on to God. Therefore I was even afraid to put my trust and hope on to God, because I was afraid that I would end up being disappointed.

When this thought of having a new heart to love God came into mind, I came to realize that if I can’t even LOVE and put my trust fully on to God, who first LOVED me for who I am, how would I be able to spread LOVE to the world? How would I be able to learn and LOVE those who are imperfect if I can’t even LOVE the perfect LOVE, my LORD? Therefore I should start learning to put my trust and hope onto God. The new heart that God is giving me is to experience His LOVE freely.

Oh Father in Heaven~ From today onwards, let me learn how to LOVE and put my TRUST is your perfect LOVE.