Drafts e-mails

Saw that I have 81 drafts emails. I was curious, so I randomly open one and read. And it brings back memories.

My draft inbox is like my note book when I'm using other's people computer.

And during my internship period, is where I save something, MSN conversations.

I read back all that was said and heard. Things that was promised is broken now. Things that we had has faded.

I smiled, with tears rolling down from my eyes.

What more can I say? Other than, I'm sorry.

Maybe I never should have open the shell.

peek through the door

Wanted to talk about something else today but leader's meeting was longer than I thought. So I think I'll write about it tomorrow or maybe this weekend. Suddenly all my time slot is packed and I'm planning to slot more things in! I feel like something I'm going to break free! And with this thought, I was inspired to draw the bellow drawing!

I've been in this comfort, protected shell for long enough and I'm willing and starting to breakdown the wall that hinders me to go fourth. It does not guarantee success, but it guarantees adventure! And that's what I'm looking forward too!

I talked to one of my SOT friend last few nights and I ask her what are my shortcoming. And she said this: 

You see! I'm a weird mix! When I don't know that person I'm seem like a serious person and hard to get along, hide my feelings and shut the door to my world. But on the other hand, I always show people how I feel, no matter who they are! So people will often think me as hot tempered and unfriendly...  ><

With that in mind, I have this picture came into my mind and I drew it out!

Don't you think knowing someone new is like letting the person coming into your life? And you got to be careful who you let into that door! Because they might just steal something and leave you feeling empty. Or they might just break your stuff and act like nothing happen and leave. So is tough! Is not easy! And that's why I peak out of the door and not open it before I know them better.

Oh well, still more to discover about myself!

So I shall end this with a picture of my Hong watching iPad! hahahahahaha~

Inconsistency

OMGoodness! I din't notice is been so long since I last updated my blog. >< Oh well, I guess this is the result of procrastinating. Got to be constant because my name is Constance. LOL.

Anyway, if you think the lack of updates is because nothing happened for the past few days, you are WRONG! Is directly the opposite! A LOT had happened but I don't want to bored you with the details.

So in summary, these are the list of things that happened:
1. DR AR Bernard came to preach for 2 nights.
2. Baby Caedy was too sleepy that 2 nights and I did not get to carry her. And she became more cute like that's possible.
3. I finished my Thai Language exam and I failed! >< I know how to write and read but I'm not good in remembering what is what.
4. For the first time in my life I'm writing a full length sermon. Meaning is for 30 minutes to 1 hour long. I never did this before, even my sermon for mission trip last year was too short.
5. I'm making videos. But don't you worry. I've uploaded none, because is not presentable.
6. I was on duty for translation last Sunday and I think I did a better job compared to the last time as I'm more calm.
7. Bird's poop land on my car again!
8. God provided me opportunities! ^^
9. I bought books again! A lot of them! for FREE! Thanks to my generous sister!
10. The weather nowadays are too hot for me to work!!!! ><

That's all for now, but more will come! I promise! I've a lot of plans in mind waiting for me to execute it!!!

Who invented exams and assignments?

If you follow my Instagram, you will know that I've been studying for my Thai exam. Actually this class that I join do not have any exam, which is a good thing. But one of my classmate voluntarily ask our teacher to give us an exam. When I heard of that I was furious! Yes! Furious!!! Because to students like me (only revise hours before class because too busy all the time) is a very very difficult task. And I feel is super unfair because that guy who suggested for this is half Thai! His knowledge on Thai language is beyond beginners like me! For goodness sake, I only watched 4 Thai movies and never been to Thai before. I learn because I'm interested and I enjoy learning it. Why make this to be a nightmare la?! WHY!!!!!!! Seriously don't like this arrangement. And man! My schedule is still pack like nobody's business and I have no time to study!!!! TT I need more time~~

Because of this, I'm rethinking my plan to study for another degree. I'm interested to learn more about it, but the thought of exams and assignment just scare the soul out of me! >< I don't think I'm young enough to burn all those mid night oil again.

And speaking of this, I've send out a few e-mails regarding my interest in taking another degree to a college. I were on top of the world when they reply me, but when I read the e-mail, I could not help but wonder if they read my e-mail before replying me. Because it looks to me like they just copy and paste the whole webpage and forward it to me. >< I wanted answers for a specific question. Can you please read before you reply?  >< Isssh!!!!

Ok. I think I sound frustrated in this post, because I am! Argh!!! Need to burn off some steam and recharge. So to make this a not-so-frustrated post, let me share with you something that happened last night.

I just finished my stretching exercise, got myself a cup of water and wanted to just check on my sister and wake her up. Then I notice her bedroom door was difficult to open and long story short, I lock both of us in the room. >< And we couldn't do anything to get us out of the room. We try using pins and rulers but none of it work. We were stuck!!! And my sister acted like is not a big deal and continue chit chatting with her friends on whatsapp. ><

So I forced her to call my brother because my phone wasn't with me and thank God that when we called him, he's already on his way home! So yeah!!! And apparently this happen to my brother's door too. So we got the expert in the house to help us on this. After a few tricks with a card and some force, my brother finally rescue us out! PTL! I don't want to spend the night with my sister. LOL! So now my sister's door is like a swing door, you can just swing it open. :D easier for me to check on her! Hahaha! Btw, she's my elder sister. I need to check on her because she's having exam soon and I want to make sure she study, if not waste money only lo!

What's the key to success?

If you know what I mean.

I still remember

The last time I came back was during Chinese New Year. It wasn't a fun trip as my back was aching and most of the time I can only stand and not sit.

But this time I come back for a grater reason, for our country! To execute my obligation as a citizen and let my opinion counts for the future of this land I call home.

Honestly speaking, I looked forward to this day since the war began, things need to end for something greater to take place. And what's more greater than the peace of this land?

5/5 will take a whole other meaning from tomorrow onwards. But one remains in my heart.

God works like a Pokemon game

I don't know about you, but to me God works like Pokemon game.

Why I say that? hehehehe... This is why.

If you play Pokemon before, you will know that no matter how well you know the game, there are some "steps" that you need to do before you are allow to advance. Like getting on a boat, talk to someone or etc. So no matter how smart or how expert you think you are in the game, you need to go and "discover" something before you are allowed to advance.

And I feel God works that way, there are times we feel so lost and stuck. And only when we learn the things God want us to learn, then we will be allowed to  "advance".

And in this season of my life, God creatively talk to me about Faith. And man! I love the feeling of a message burning inside of my heart. Will share more after I digest all that it is in my mind now!

My dear Kon Kon

Wanted to write on something else. But minutes before I sit down and write, I decided to play with my beloved Kon Kon.

But one ugly truth hit me, I lost my charger for my Kon Kon. I search high and low, all over my room and I can't find it. My room is not very big, so is hard to miss it.

The last time I use Kon Kon was 1/1/2013. Yes! Was that long ago, and since then it had been sitting there collecting dust. And now, I can't even find the charger! ><

PRAY!

Happy labour day!!! I think I'm a bit late on greeting this to everyone considering the time right now, labour day is almost over. ><

If you are a Malaysian and you have a FB account, I believe you know what is going on in this country. There are so many news to read, so many information to digest for us as the people of this nation to make our choice. I'm thankful that information can be so easily accessible nowadays, to be able to read what's going on just by a click on our devices. But on top of all, we are in need of wisdom to see which is the truth and which are lies. Is so important not to blindly believe what we read, on Facebook or in the newspaper but to get the facts right. Everyone of us have the freedom to believe what we believe and support what we support.

But despite of all that, I only pray that people would not spread fear among themselves. Is important to be precaution, but is not good to spread fear and worry for nothing. Fear hold us back from doing the right thing, and the right thing must be done for the better.

I thank God for this church I'm in, in all that we do, we love our country and we intercede for it. Because we are the sons and daughters of this land, a place I call home. Pray not for own favour, but pray for the will of God to be done on earth as it is in heaven. Pray that this land will experience the work of God and God will move on our behalf. Pray that this country will be a country that uphold Godly values and have a heart of fearing God. Pray!