I'm committed to u~

In my previous post, I posted one of my old post. I've checked my ID, I have around 3-5 old blogs. A lot right? And all of them are now closed and are only available for myself.  

Come to think of it, I remember each and every reason that caused me to close my blog. Generally speaking, insecurity and inconsistantcy. I don't like to let others know to much about myself because I hate it when people talk behind my back. And somehow I had this illusion that I'm under some sort of spotlight. As if there are people watching and looking closely into my life.  I think is because when I was young in school, people watch and then talk.

In SOT I've learn that people will not shut their mouth. Words hurts, but is my job to guard my heart. And I should find my security and identity in my ABBA, not simply from anyone in my life. Honestly speaking, I thought I was doing very well until a few weeks back where I was hurt merely by a sentence from someone. It took me a few weeks to recover, and I think I haven't fully recover from it. But is ok, because I'm learning! 

Anyway (I notice I've been using this word since 4 years ago!!!), I was just wondering what will it be like if I have not change any of my blog links. Maybe I will become a famous blogger like fourfeetnine.  Maybe I will have more blogger friends.  Maybe my writing style will be different! Or maybe I've stopped blogging by now. 

For whatever that might happen, it did not happen. But then I want to commit myself to this blog and not change it ever again and see what will happen. Since "that incident" I have nothing to be afraid of!!!! 

P/s: 6 weeks left in SOT!!!!!!!!!!! OMG~~~~~~~~~~