Back to reality

If this is a dream, could someone be kind enough to splash water on my face and wake me up? But clearly I'm still in the same realm, sadly I'm not dreaming. SOT indeed ended already, 7 months fly pass quicker than the airplane flight from KL to Singapore. To me is like a blink of the eye. Things that happened, moments tha I spent with my friends, tears that I quietly wiped away in the middle of the night are still as clear as though it happened just a second ago. I got to say, even though I looked forward to come back to KL, I miss SOT already.

So many things had happened for the past 7 months. Things that I never imagined will happen, things that distracted me from my original goals. I was super ambitious! I wanted to be the best preacher or maybe win the best attendance award, but I ended up winning nothing. I wanted to go missions in the forests, those places where you need to take a boat in and go tracking in the jungle, but I ended up going to Surabaya and had a great time staying in air-conditioned hotel. I totally went off track!

No matter how well I planned, God always have a bigger and better plan for me. Maybe at the moment I don't see it, but somehow in the end He will let me understand. 

In this period of time, I've given my first offering challenge, I lead my first praise and worship, I preached my first sermon, went on my first mission trip and experienced my first healing miracle. 

Honestly speaking, I always thought I can speak very well, preaching to my mind was a piece of cake! Men! Was I wrong! I was soooo nervous in my first offering message in CG I couldn't even understand myself! My preaching tests was like a roller coaster ride, my first sermon was good, but my second till the fourth was superbly bad, but by the grace of God, my last sermon was my best! And I thank God that when I was preaching in Surabaya, He gave me a word that is consistant with the church vision, to be a mission church! 

Out of everything, the one that I afraid the most is leading worship. I wasn't assigned to do it in mock CG, but I was assign to do it in my real CG. My CG leader, Johann gave us opportunities to serve in different area in CG meetings, which includes leading worship. To me leading worship is the toughest. You got to lead the people into the presence of God. I was super nervous I almost cried when we were practicing. But thank God it was OK in the end.

I really learn that when I stop trying too hard and be lead by Him, He never fails to show up.

I wish to say that my SOT went on smoothly and I have no struggle at all. But as we all know, Christianity is not a bed of roses, it ain't easy at all. Many times I wanted to give up and go back to Malaysia, many times the thought of going back to Malaysia brings tensions into my world, many times I cried quietly in the shower, many times I pretend I was sleeping but my heart was broken. But no matter what situation I am in, no matter how I responded to those trials and tribulations, God remain faithful and He never let me walk alone. He was always there when I cried out to Him, He was always there to wipe away my tears.

7 months was not totally a sweet journey, but I learned a lot. And I know I can't live without Abba. In everything that happened, I run back to Him. And that's one of the most important thing that I learned, as long as I hold on to Him, everything will be fine.

Give out of LOVE

Somehow I just have this feeling to share this message here. This is an offering message I wrote 2 weeks ago for my CG Offering challenge. Well, it did not went well when I shared it in CG. Somehow I'm so so soooooooooooo nervous that I was shivering, from my mouth to toe! It was embarrassing. Somehow my CG leader make me nervous!!! It happen during preaching test too!! TT But no matter how bad I did, I still want to share it here, because my performance do not affect the quality of the message in blog~ hahaha

*Offering Challenge Message*

Mark 12:41-44
Now Jesus sat opposite the treasury and saw how the people put money into the treasury. And many who were rich put in much. Then one poor widow came and threw in two mites, which make a quadrans. So He called His disciples to Himself and said to them, “Assuredly, I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all those who have given to the treasury; for they all put in out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had, her whole livelihood.”

When I read about this story about Jesus praising the widow for giving her all, I cannot help but wonder whether by giving my all will definitely touch God’s heart. Because the bible says that “but she out of her poverty put in all that she had, her whole livelihood”

Does this mean that whenever we give our offering, we should give all that we have then God will only acknowledge it?

Yes? No? or don’t know?

Let’s see what the bible says. In vs 41 it says “Now Jesus sat opposite the treasury and saw how the people put money into the treasury”. He saw how the people put money into the treasury. Not what, but how they put into the treasury. Friends, is not the money or the percentage of our belongings that God is concern about. But how we are giving Him the offering. The attitude that is in our heart when we place our money into the offering envelope.

What kind of attitude should we have that pleases God’s heart? Is it a heart of expectancy that when I give God will bless me back? Or is it a heart of obedience? I’m doing it just because I’ve been doing it since young.

Let us learn the heart of giving from the ultimate giver, God Himself.

In John 3:16
“For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son.” 

For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son. It is out of the heart of love that God gave Jesus to save us. He love us therefore He gave.

Guys, this is the ultimate attitude we should have when we give to God! We give out of Love.

1 Corinthians 13:3 says
“And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing”

We always say Christianity is different from other religion, and it is! Because we as Christian do everything out of the heart of loving God and loving people.

So friends let us give out of a heart of love. Let us use our giving today to express our love towards God. The world sees money as number 1 in their life, but let us tell God through our giving that He is our number 1 in our life. Amen?

Let us pray.
[say a simple prayer before passing the offering envelope out!]

-the end-

3 months challenge!!

Time flies!!! It really does!!! l only got 3 months left before I fly back to Malaysia and leave this beautiful country... *please do not get me wrong, is not that I don't like my country, I just feel safer here.*

Anyway, things had been crazy for the past 4 months!!! A lot had happen... Stressful times, emo times and happy times... The stories that I have now can make a few series of drama! XD can't wait to see what will happen for the next 3 months! *excited!!*

While school is coming to an end, we are all loaded with assignments and exams. I have a paper this Wednesday and I have to hand up 3 books review on Friday! And we will be having our preaching test in the beginning of July! Phew~~ really have a lot to do.

Our school dean always tells us that they purposely plan it this way so that we will be loaded with a lot of tasks and with it stress comes in. >< This is when the real "us" will be revealed, under super high pressure! I don't really get it at first, but now I do. People start to show the real self and is scary!!!! I want my mama!!! *wu~~~~~~* but at the end of the day I still feel is very good, cause this is when my character will be shaped!!! Hope that the real me is not scaring anyone off!! XD

On another totally different note, one of my CG member was sabo by me and had took up the challenge to lose 15.5 kg by my graduation! Yup! He is going to lose all these weight in 3 months!!! 3 months!!! Salute him! XD I even suggested him to put my picha in his wallet as a reminder of this challenge every time he buy himself food. XD but apparently putting a girl's picha in your wallet means something else, my other CG members were laughing non-stop. >< since he so "on" to take up the challenge, I shall try to gain 5 kg by my graduation. *trust me, it ain't easy at all* challenge accepted! As my beloved Barney Stinson always says! XD

This is how I motivate myself! XD:

why do I use I ain't pretty?

I’ve changed my blog's URL numerous times. I really lost count of it. Some of those blogs still exist, the others I just replaced them with a new URL.

By far, iaintpretty (I ain't pretty) is my favorite. When I came up with this URL, it “wow!” me and I really really like it! I’m even amazed that I can come out with this URL myself! Hahaha *proud of myself*

People might feel that this URL is a bit negative, but behind every name that I use for my URL is a story. And this is how I got the idea for this URL.

It was a casual afternoon and I was talking to my new colleague that time. She just came in for a few days and we were just chilling and chatting in front of our laptops acting busy. XD I knew she have a blog so we were discussing about bloggers and I asked her for a few blogs that she visit. I randomly asked her “why have you not considered to be a full-time blogger?” and her answer was “because I’m not pretty!” O.o?! "I was stunned! She then continued and told me that pretty girl’s photo can attract more viewers. And since she is not like them, she cannot become a full-time blogger! XD

After listening to her, the name “I ain’t pretty” came into my mind. I’m giving the world a heads up that there won't be any pretty girl’s photo here in my blog. I’m really not that type of girls with big eyes, or know how to dress themselves and look pretty. I admit, I’m just too lazy to learn all of that! ><

On another note, my hair is getting longer and longer already!!! It really irritates me!!! Feel like going back to Malaysia to cut my hair!!! Is totally out of shape now!! I have no idea how to style to save it!! But people around me keep saying it looks better than before... >< I think they just don't like me having super short hair! Is been 4 months le~ 4 months!!!!!!

100+ days before SOT ends.... TT

p/s: Been searching for a new template for weeks! Man! Is not easy to find one that is perfect! There are some that I really like! But then I notice little details that I don't like. Hm... This new one is the best I can get~ When I can afford, I will ask someone to design for me! XD

Call me Miss Constance

I've been asking God for an English name for a period of time. I did thought of naming myself, but no matter which name I choose it just didn't feel right until that day.

During the worship session, we sang "You are for me". Is not the first time I heard or sing this song, but that time was definitely the first time the word "constant" touch my heart.

So faithful. So constant. 

So loving and so true.
So powerful in all You do.

You fill me. You see me. 
You know my every move 
You love for me to sing to You.

I know that You are for me. 
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never
forsake me in my weaknessesI know that You have come now
even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who You are.

So patient, So gracious, 
So merciful and true
So wonderful in all You do. 

I just felt that God wants to remind and keep reminding me that His Love towards me it constant and unchanging. And He also wants me to Love Him constantly and unchanging. Not fluctuating now and then but keep loving Him forever and ever.

I asked my "mama" after that, she told me "Constant" is for boy so is better to use the name "Constance" which have the same meaning.

So that's how I name myself Constance, believing it is an answer from God.

I'm still not used to it yet. But I'm trying to be! 

Please don't pee in the lift

Few weeks ago we went to our team member's house for our mock CG practice a.k.a. mock mock CG and I saw something interesting.

This lift is not your toilet?!  I didn't know that there is people who pee in the lift. And when I saw the "Armed with urine detection device (UDD)" sign, a lot of questions pop up in my mind.

Apparently, this is not uncommon here. That's what I heard from my friend. They say it was a very serious problem last time until awareness was created. 

Anyway, my only unanswered question is this, how does this UDD work? Does it detect liquid? or liquid with heat? What will happen if someone accidentally spill hot tea in the lift? Will it beep none stop? Or will the lift stop working? I'm really curious bout this! Anyone know?

Sacrifice of praise

Until now, I'm still overwhelmed from what had happen since Tuesday. My leaders little precious angel is still in the hospital, fighting for her life. Such a brave girl, such a fighter. Only a few days old, and she's already fighting for her life, not giving up.

Before she was born, she already brought all of us so much joy. Not only to her parents but to all of us. We were all excited about her even before she was born. Everyone was so happy when they found out she was conceived in her mother's womb. We were all touching her mom's belly hoping to feel a kick from her. I never once be so excited about something until I check my tweets every 5 mins, just to make sure I do not miss any latest update of her. She brought us a lot of joy indeed.

Now seeing her in tubes, my heart break. Although I can only see her photos, I've already fell in love with her. Such a beautiful baby, with such beautiful eyes. Her eyes make my heart melt.

I cannot understand why these things happen to her. In terms of natural or the supernatural. But I believe in God's infinite wisdom that whatever that is going on right now is for a purpose. He have everything in control. He IS in control.

Today, I really experience the sacrifice of praise. Seeing my leaders keeping their faith strong in God really encourage me. They set their faith in God, and embrace the will of God. For the whole day I feel so burden in my heart. Can't really do anything, I wasn't acting like myself. But in all that had happen, I learn to give praise to God. Keep thanking Him for His wonder. Keep believing that He has the perfect plan for her.

My God is a Healer! My God is a Miracle Maker. I believe our little angel will experience a miraculous!

Destiny, Aunty Shu Qing Love you very very much!!!!!! Be strong keep fighting! I want to give you a big big hug when I come back! And buy you an Eeyore!!!

To everyone who is reading this, please pray together with me. She needs a miracle touch from God. Let's us all believe that our God will heal her and day by day she will be stronger and stronger! Keep her family in prayers too! Pray that God's grace is upon them and will bring them trough this period of time. And pray that God will provide them with all that they need financially. Amen!

You can read more information here:

http://www.facebook.com/DestinyOh

My Miracle

I know this is a bit late to post it here. But is better than never right?


I experienced a miraculous healing last Friday. When Pastor Ming asked if anyone had unequal length of hands or leg, I quickly raised up my hand because I knew since last year that both of my legs are unequally long. We were asked to gather in our teams and pray for those in need of this miracle. So my team members and I gathered together and I took off my shoes to show them the difference of my legs. They were amazed to see that my leg was unequally long. They say the difference was an inch long. I’m not sure, but I know my right leg’s ankle is literally on top of my left leg’s ankle.

So we started to pray in the spirit and they start laying their hands on my leg. After praying for some time, I could hear other teams cheering for joy and praising God for the miracle that happened. But till then, nothing happen to me. I wasn’t sure how I felt that time, my friend asked me not to pray in the spirit but just receive the healing. One of them also came to me and recites a verse to me, she asked me not to be discouraged and trust in the Lord for this healing.

When they start praying again, I did not pray in the spirit anymore but receive the healing. I kept saying in my heart that I believe in God and I believe God will believe. But after some time nothing happen, and I felt that God telling me that the reason I kept saying I believe is because I do not believe and I’m trying to persuade myself to believe. Once this thought hit me, I start confessing to God and asked God to help my unbelief. And that was when the miracle started to happen.

I start feeling power flowing through a touch. I thought it was the touch of God, so I opened my eyes and look, it was my friend’s hand. I could feel power releasing through her hands. Then I felt my jeans moving. But it didn’t! What I felt was actually the stretch of my leg.

And praise the Lord, when we compare my legs again, it was totally the same length! Not longer and not shorter! Is totally the same length! Praise the Lord.

It was an amazing experience for all of us. My friend saw with her on eyes that my leg was stretched 3 times! 3 times! And the girl who I felt power flowing from her also felt that power were releasing through her. She said she was praying and she felt her hands so hot, and she knows that she needs to lay her hand on me. Another one felt the stretch of my leg too. She thought someone was pulling my leg, but no one was pulling. It was God!

I really thank God for this miraculous healing. It couldn’t happen without my team member’s support and prayers. And it definitely would not happen without God’s grace. Feel so blessed! Thank You, Abba!

The Mighty Cross

Thank You for the cross, the mighty cross,
That God Himself should die for such as us,
And everyday we're changed
Into Your image more and more,
Yes, by the cross we've truly been transformed.

And we're so amazed, and we give You praise
That You would save us at such a cost.
We're so amazed, and we give You praise
For the power of the cross,
For the power of the cross.


I can't get the lyrics out of my mind after we sang it in SOT the other day and I got the inspiration to sketch the cross. The Mighty Cross.

I din't know about this until I came to SOT. All these while I thought trough the cross only our sins are forgiven and we have eternal life. But through the cross Jesus did more than what I thought. His sacrifice gave us everything.

Through the cross, He took away my SINS and gave me FORGIVENESS.
Through the cross, He took away my REJECTION and gave me ACCEPTANCE
Through the cross, He took away my SICKNESS and gave me HEALING
Through the cross, He took away my CURSE and gave me BLESSINGS
Through the cross, He took away my POVERTY and gave me PROSPERITY
Through the cross, He took away DEATH and gave me ETERNAL LIFE
Through the cross, He took away my REBELLIOUS NATURE and gave me a NEW MAN

Whenever I think about the cross, I think about what Jesus had been through for us and tears couldn't stop rolling down from my eyes. Thank You Jesus for the CROSS.

I'm back!!!!

Is been some time since the last time I leave my foot prints here. For those who not know, I’m currently studying in Singapore right now. Had enrolled myself to a 7 months course in SOT! (Oops… y am I in such a formal tone?)

It will be exactly a month since I’m here tomorrow. And a lot had happen but why bored you guys with the details. Just need to focus on those that is more interesting and also current! If not, it will not consider blogging, it will call recalling memories. XD

Just want to share something that happens this morning. So we were having class and we were learning about how to be led by the Holy Spirit. I’m a new old Christian. Meaning I’ve been a Christian for some time, but due to my lack of discipline I don’t really know a lot about Christianity or the Bible. I’m old in a way, and new in another way.

So we were asked to pair up and to pray for the other person. Seek the Holy Spirit for a scripture to speak to the person and pray for him/her based on the scripture. This is a HUGE challenge for me as my knowledge on scripture is super limited. I’m afraid that I have nothing to say, and I feel sorry for the person that paired up with me. But then a practice is still a practice, you have to do it no matter what. So I prayed for my friend. And as expected, there is no scripture that pops up in my mind, but an image. Image of Peter walking on water, and that’s what I told my partner. I told her whatever that pops up in my mind, whatever that I feel peace telling her. I do not know how well I did, but I’m just glad that it was over.

BUT! We were asked to pair up with another person and to do the same thing. But this time, we take a step further by asking the Holy Spirit which area the scripture is speaking about. Man! This makes it more difficult! I was so nervous! Before we start to pray in tongues, I’ve already search my mind on scriptures that I could use to pray for that person. And I had my mind on the book of Revelation. But then when I start holding that person’s hand, and started to pray in tongue, I feel that the Holy Spirit is telling me that the scripture that I should speak to her is in the Old Testament. I was like “Har?! Old Testament? Old Testament got what to say?!”. Then the image of David fighting goliath appear in my mind. OK! Step 1 DONE! The next one, which area?! I was so struggle! Finance? Study? Or work? I wanted to go with finance, because is like the safest to say. But then I felt strongly is about her work. So I speak about it.

Is really a Faith stretching exercise! XD

I did ask both of them whether what I say is accurate or not. Somehow both of them told me that they feel that what I spoke to them is to prepare them for their future. Anyhow, I really feel that I need to brush up my bible knowledge! READ THE BIBLE!!!!!!!!! STUDY!!!!! Fight a!!!

Anyway, this is a 2 way practice, so they did pray for me too. I don’t want to get into details on what they prayed for me, but I got to say this, in those 2 prayers they have something in common. That is God’s Grace. Which I think it really speaks into my heart. And yes, I teared.

Till the time I had the strength and energy to bring my laptop to school again. I will leave you guys with this latest drawing of ME!