my first stay in hospital

My doctor was kind enough to give me a week MC until this Friday. But after what happened today, I've decided to go back to work tomorrow. I don't think I can stand another day being unproductive. I slept rested all day, watched a few crayon sin chan videos, reply A email, sew a oversized pillow case and almost drank an expired vitagen. Super duper unproductive! Don't care if I need to bring my pillow to work, I'm going back to work!

I don't know if the injection I took was a major procedure. I know is not major enough to keep me in the hospital for any longer. In fact I discharge from the hospital about 2 hours after the injection. But it was major enough for the doctor to put me to sleep before the injection.

My memory for that day was something like this. Woke up 5:45am because the nurses came in to take my blood pressure and temperature. Waited until 9:15am for the nurses to push me down. By the time they came I was so tired I felt like sleeping. Then 4 doctors were around me to give me the needle connector thing for the anesthetic. I was then pushed into the surgery room, facing the ceiling, I saw those huge lights that they always show in the movies. I was sooo nervous my body keep shaking. The doctors was discussing about fishing and the last thing I remember was me laying faced down looking at my left hand feeling the anesthetic going into my body. 

I dreamt a lot of crazy stuff during my "hibernation". I have no idea if I mumbled the name of Jesus or some other thing during the procedure. I just remember thinking about the crayon sin chan video I watched the night before. 

And when I woke up, I already face up and out of the surgery room. They pushed me back to my room and I saw my mom and my sister. I was high that time, talking crap. I kept asking my sister why she wasn't at work. I was high! I know what I'm doing, is like when I was drunk. I somehow have the courage to do things that I don't normally do. I even texted my CG leader. I didn't texted her nonsense, it was just stuff that I will never tell her if I'm in my right mind. The anesthetic gave me enormous courage! I should be at that stage for the rest of my life! LOL!

After being insanely high for almost an hour, my body couldn't take it anymore and I finally fall asleep. After that, the doctor came up and meet us and I was discharged from the hospital.

I'm not totally OK for now, my back feels tired most of the time and I need something to lean on. It will take time and hardwork to be well. I got to do exercises and always be caution of my posture. So do believe with me that I'll be totally healed by the promise of God.

Oh! One last thing, if you ever ever have a friend that is going for a surgery or therapy or some medical procedure, please give your support and don't do things that will affect their emotion. There is this guy that came to me and say taking injection won't solve the problem. Well, I know you tell me out of concern, but seriously, I don't need that the day before my injection! It just make things worst! So for the love of God, say something positive, and don't say things that sounds like I'm heading for disaster. Not helpful at all!!!

Some other picture I took during the stay. Is all in my Instagram. Follow me @sqlim

Coincidence or God?

My mom says that poor people cannot afford to get sick. Well, I think is kinna true. With the medical cost so high nowadays, is not cheap to get sick. And not to forget to mention that when you are sick, you have no income. So is like a double lost, no income somemore need to pay. >< this was one of the reason I refuse to see doctor for the past few years. No offence to good doctors, but there are greedy doctors out there (quoted from one of my doctor). And when money is the issue, they will persuade you to do surgery no matter what. Therefore I refuse to see doctor, I don't trust them.

But I thank God for this doctor I'm seeing right now. He was one of my parent's student. I believe that someone that visits their teacher during Chinese New Year after so many years can be trusted. And I've read some of the reviews about him, he don't opt for surgery. So I thank God that He placed this doctor into my life. 

I mean how on earth can this be a coincident if is not God's plan. Coincidently he is my parents's student? Coincidently he is a doctor? Coincidently he met my mom a few years ago? Coincidently he is based in Subang? And on top of all that, coincidently he is an expert in this field?  I DON'T THINK SO. 

This is like the story of David fighting Goliath. If you are not familiar with this story from the bible, it is about young David took down Goliath of the philistines (the enemy). Goliath was a huge size giant, no one in the Israel army have the guts to take him down. But young David went all out with his shepherd's staff, selected five smooth stones from the brook and beat the Philistine with a sling and a stone. 

It might seem insignificant, but I believe that those 5 smooth stones are prepared by God. The stones was at the right place at the right time in the right condition. It wasn't too small or too big, it wasn't too rough but smooth from the current of the river. It is the work of God. And God did not just prepare one that David needs, but FIVE! Our God is really a God of abundance, not only He prepares what we need, He prepare more than what we need. God foresees the future and He prepares beforehand for us.

Same like the story of Jonah. He was swollen by a huge fish and was in it for three days and nights. Is it a coincident that there is a fish huge enough to swallow Jonah in? I don't think so. God must be looking after of this fish, keep it safe and feed it to make sure it will be big enough to swallow Jonah in. 

So yeah! As I believe God prepared those 5 stones and the huge fish, I also believe that God prepare this doctor for me. Nothing really happen just like that or out of luck. Praise God for that!

Maybe some of you are thinking "If God foresee the future, does it mean that I'm not making my own choice, but it is predestined by God?" Well, no. Because David had the choice to not go out and fight Goliath, but as he take a step of faith and believe in God, he can go out without fear because God had prepared what he needed, even more. Same like me, if I never decide to seek help and tell my parents, I will never know that this doctor exist. And like Jonah, he choose to run away from God, therefore the fish came and swallow him. So even though we might make the wrong decisions in life, God will try His best to bring us back, but is still your choice.

In all, take a step of faith and don't worry that you might not have what you need. Because God foresees it and He already prepare all those for you, even more.

BACK! are you kidding?

My original plan for this hour was to act like a backpacker and walk around the streets of Singapore. Or maybe go to some fancy coffee shop and act like a classy girl reading a book or writing something on a vintage style book. Putting on my earphones and finally give myself a break from all that's been happening for the past few months. But instead of all that, I'm at home blogging.

Yes, my well planned trip to Singapore is officially over. There is no more hope for me to go there for the NCWC conference. I know I've mumble about this before, but the numerous emails from airasia and tigerairway keep reminding me of what I've missed - the first ever Women's conference featuring Lisa Bevere.

I flush this plan down the toilet for my doctor appointment about my back. Funny thing is, after a few weeks of torturing me, my back decided to get better. It wasn't ok yesterday night, in fact I was in pain, but this morning it ached for a while and no more pain, maybe a little but definitely not serious. If my back and I were separate beings, I will grab her and say "ARE YOU PLAYING A JOKE ON ME??" 

Oh well, I can't change a thing about it already, so I might as well suck it all in and wait and see what good will come out of this. 

So I went to the doctor and show him my 3 years old MRI. He suggested me to stay in the hospital and do physiotherapy, do a new MRI and see what it looks like then only decide what whether I need injection or not. And thus this will be my first stay in the hospital. Thank God for my parents, willingly and sacrificially come all the way for me and they are going to accompany me for the coming few days too. *touched* & *feel bad* 

Gonna bring my Thai CD there to revise my Thai, better than doing nothing.